


A letter to my best friend

by Sunny_Grunge



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Canon Compliant, Canon Universe, Character Analysis, Gen, Letters, no beta we die like orphans, tubbo is venting not gonna lie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-20
Updated: 2021-01-20
Packaged: 2021-03-18 20:14:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28872897
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sunny_Grunge/pseuds/Sunny_Grunge
Summary: Tubbo writes down all of the feelings he felt and thoughts he had during the fight at the Community House.
Relationships: No Romantic Relationship(s), Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit
Kudos: 5





	A letter to my best friend

" Dear best friend,

I thought that my mistakes were nothing more than circumstances of life that stay unexplained, that keep you up during treacherous nights like a melody coming from green and purple prices that you pay with fluctuating allies...   
But in fact, I am sure, that burning, the stinging, the explosion of lights that we both had come to terms with, in my mind are still just as vibrant as your epigrammatic but faulty vision of an idolized treasure.

Tommy.

The discs,  
Tommy .

But why not start from the very begging of your egomaniac rampage, where you sought to reclaim the bastardized title of “nonpareil”?  
From when in my purity and mellow kind, I had been drew to such a smile, so wide I could count every single hopeful tooth that was only ever rivaled by the flames in those big brown eyes of Soot.

Was it all pipe dreams? Oh tell me, so-called big man, was it all silly pipe dreams of kids manipulated by a mean-spirited fate? Because so it seems.

Dream is a word that haunts the both of us, so maybe that’s why we never seem to be able to sleep , and we stay awake listening to our bloodstream, in our ears, in ours hands, from the neck to the back.

Tommy,

Why the discs?

Why give such an importance to an analogy that nowadays is dead, gone, it’s impossible to reclaim without looking insane.  
And you do look insane, and so does the pink face you claim to be your very new compadre. To me it looks like a bugbear, nobody deserving of addressing manners, especially with that glare or with that armor that screams ‘beware’. Of dog.  
I wonder if your bosom buddy is still able to bite, or if in fact he has decided to finally reclaim a tendency to leave all of the fights behind.

Do you remember how painful it was to hug my dying body, or have you gotten too deep in desperation, Tommy? Have you become a minute man or can I still call luck on your judgment to be disastrous like it had always been?

Because here, Tommy, I have a list of things that had hurt ME badly:

Being a president is a first, the view of people is a second, the butcher army, the orphan life, the distance of my so-called best friend that yes indeed destroyed me.  
And that’s not all.

L’manberg is a point I underlined in blue, black, red, yellow three times, but this was such a waste of time, since it has already faded.   
I dug a grave for the point in my list where I had the audacity to write Pogtopia, and I dipped in foul-smelling alcohol the point were Manberg was still somehow alive, breathing, unlike Jschlatt.

Why did I betray him, honestly, if I had know that Wilbur would have died by the hands of your father, that the Blade would have roasted me on a spit just to spit me at the first chew because I’d be awfully crude... I would’ve been the one to betray you.

And so we stand, tired and bruised, you signed by the marks of a master puppeteer and me by suicide-baits that took you nowhere if not shoved and stuck in my brain.  
And you tell me that my horned but never corrupted worth is lower enough to be an easier sacrifice than music so awfully old?

But I don’t have any tears left, Tommy, not anymore.

And now I wonder, one last time.  
Would giving him your well cherished Mellohi, and forcing your life to grey eyes once more...

Could that make me gain some blue?  
And maybe, wrongly so, I think I'd gain your love too. 

Forever yours,  
Against a better judgment,

Your Tubbo. "

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, I'm sorry for eventual spelling/grammar mistakes, English isn't my first language!  
> Hope you enjoy some angst I wrote at 3 in the morning <3


End file.
